I’m noticing safety is a big block for intimacy on all sides so I’m offering some insights I’ve been gifted in my experiences having explored safety for myself and in my intimate relatings.
Principle 1) A man needs to find his own safety within himself and then bring that to the community.
If a man is expecting a woman to bring him safety then she will always be en garde and never feel that she is allowed to fully surrender into opening her Heart where she can love on the situation and recharge herself. She will never be fully and deeply nourished because she knows she might be called to show up in the masculine pose and deliver safety when the man can’t show up and do it.
When a man is keeping his environment and community safe, protected, and clean then women can begin showing up and delivering Love and assist manifesting the underlying purpose of that community that he’s initiated.
If safety isn’t there, then there’s no way for a community to grow.
How does a man find safety within himself? There’s not one answer and it’s an individual process.
A man being able to see himself, feel himself, know himself, receive feminine reflection, expose himself, and having spent time with himself are all ways to cultivate internal safety. It’s an ongoing process that involves feeling our bodies and letting everything that’s been stuffed inside of us that is unsafe come to the surface while staying present with the un-safety while it transforms and moves out of us. This grows our capacity as men to handle and transform unsafe situations in our external environment into safe ones.
A woman either feels safe around a man or she doesn’t. No amount of mental convincing can change this. If the felt sense in a woman’s body is not safety then the woman needs to speak up or leave.
Principle 2) Women need to express and reflect back to their environment (i.e. everyone in the space) when they feel unsafe. (Assuming the environment is receptive — don’t put yourself in unnecessary harms way where you can get hurt.)
What does this look like for a woman?
If it feels true in your body, simply saying — “I’m feeling unsafe to express myself” — can impact the environment greatly, especially if there are conscious men in the space.
Women please use your best judgement on when and how you can express your feelings gauging the environment’s receptivity and if you are in possible harm.
A conscious man will welcome any reflection from a woman especially with regards to safety because it will most likely show where he is un-clarified and where his environment is unsafe and where she is blocked in being able to open and receive the situation.
A woman expressing her reflection of un-safety is a huge gift to men and allows men to show up more in her presence. Or if not, it clarifies for the woman that she should not be in this situation because the man cannot provide what she needs.
Remember that women expressing themselves and feeling safe in their expression and environment is foundational. Period. Without this there is no relating — there is only performing, posturing, conditioning, unconscious trauma, and uncleanliness permeating the space that closes everyone off and exudes the general feeling of insanity.
In short, the masculines brings safety forth having discovered it for himself and the feminine reflects back what isn’t safe so the seeds he’s planting can be pulled into her and grow and flower.
Men show up and find safety in yourself and hold women accountable to expressing her feelings.
Women hold men to be accountable to keep the environment safe.
Love and Firmness,