As you begin to show up in your life more, you might be faced with different challenges of having to show up in ways that you didn’t expect to and be asked to give what you never received.
Doing this is one of the underlying cornerstones of unconditional love and a fundamental principle to being a parent.
By learning to give what was never given to you by giving it to yourself first and then gifting that to others, you, in the process, mature into a person of worth.
This is hard at first — and may seem near impossible — but the more you move in that direction the more space Courage has to sit inside you and the more that magic might show up in your life.
This weekend I took my son to Main St. in Durango, Colorado to sell some of his art — this is the story.
Quinn is an amazing artist and has been working on developing his talent for over 2 years now. When he was 8 years-old, he completed a 12-hour Udemy course on drawing and has continually honed his craft ever since.
Some people have really good technique when they draw but the drawings feel empty. Quinn has both technique and feeling. If you compared one of his drawings to the marvel comic he roughly based it off of — you would notice that his drawing feels more alive. When you see his drawings you feel the viciousness, the evilness, the grief-strickenness, the playfulness — its all there and for him to draw it he on some level has to feel what he is drawing in his body.
This is a gift I clearly see inside of him that I’ve been fostering for quite some time now and last week I had the idea — let’s set up a little stand so he can peddle his drawings as a street artist and receive feedback from the world — not only me.
Over the past week Quinn drew 13 drawings to sell — working on some for 4-5 hours. He brought them over my place on Saturday and after he woke we began to get ready to go and then he said to me,
“Do you even think my drawings are good?” as he began to cry and doubt himself.
And so I paused and we pulled out the pile of the 13 drawings and I sat him down next to me and we looked at each one in detail. And I said to him can you feel the determination and conviction in this one that he’s willing to die for what he believes no matter what. And then I’d ask him what he felt looking at the drawing. And then we went to the next and I said can you feel the playfulness mixed with the provocativeness and the way he’s moving and so on…and we went through each one really slowly as I built the worth up that was already there but hard for him to see.
After looking through them all, he felt insecure but more grounded.
We then went and got supplies — frames, nice black backing for a piece of wood to mount the drawings and wall mounts and framed them all so we can make a little make-shift stand on the side of Main Street here in Durango.
After setting everything up, I stood aways off so I could keep tabs on everything while Quinn bravely manned his own little booth by himself.
In about 10 minutes, a man on his phone saw the drawings, stopped and stood next to the booth and after he finished his conversation he said to Quinn I’d like to buy that one. He handed Quinn $25. Quinn gave him the drawing.
And then another gentleman came up to Quinn and just gave him $3.
My landlord happened to be passing by and ended up giving $10 to support local artists.
Quinn’s art teacher from last year who he’s had a challenging relationship with bought 2 drawings for $20.
A huge man with giant muscles (probably twice my size) with tattoos all over him wearing the biggest gold belt buckle you’ve ever seen and wad of cash in his hand came up to Quinn and pointed to his drawings and asked him, “How much are selling these for?” — in an almost severe serious tone.
Quinn was a little taken aback and shrugged his shoulders and shook his hands a little and before he could answer the guy gave him a $20 bill and said “I’ll be back later to get a drawing — you take this now.” Quinn received the money.
A woman pointed to his most expensive drawing for $45 and said I want that one and bought it without a second thought.
After about 2 1/2 hours he had sold all but one and the one he hadn’t sold he actually didn’t want to sell in the first place. We got back to the car and he counted the money and he made $195.
I never saw him so excited and overjoyed in his life. The look on his face was amazing.
Remember he did spend 30 hours or more making the 13 drawings and truly put in the work.
When he was selling his drawings, people were constantly passing him by giving him praise — especially women and very cute girls maybe a little older than him. Some of these girls I think just wanted the excuse of standing in front of his drawings to get a feel for him — not just his art. Then these girls would walk past and as they passed me I would hear their conversation talking about him.
At the end, I asked him what he learned. And he said, “I feel I’m a talented artist.”
What a gift I had the chance to give that to Quinn so he could feel his value being reflected from the world around him (what the larger feminine offers) — not just me attempting to show him that he’s an amazing artist.
The world encouraged him to continue showing up and developing his talent. All of this was a gift for him to receive. What a magical day!
In order to give something we never received, we need to learn to give it to ourselves first.
This is a big part of what spirituality and growing into an adult and a parent means.
This is learning how to Love.
When we bring what we have discovered in ourselves as an unconditional gift to others where we don’t expect anything in return — this nourishes the Big Love and inspires.
Be vulnerable and attempt to give to someone what you didn’t get and see what happens and then send me the story.
Love and Firmness,